Numero Dies: Yo creo que...

     As a teenager myself, I can loosely represent the teenage population.  My teenage brain thinks about tomorrow and now and my favorite song and tiedye pair of gym shoes. I think about what happened just now and what happened a long time ago.  I think about myself.  I think about how indecisive I am, and therefore I spend a lot of time thinking about decisions I need to make.  I think about what would benefit me and I think about my appearance.  I think it's definitely personality over appearance any day though.  I think no one thoroughly reads through posts to comment on each other, so I end up acting like no one's reading at all.  I spend the most time thinking about people.  I think our family friends are the most wonderful people to spend holidays with.  I think Christine is magnificent, and I think Curtis is growing, and I think they're some of the best people that exist. I think I don't really know what best friends means.  I think Grey's Anatomy is one of the best show's suggested to me. I think I can go on forever about what I think, and I think I need to right now because I need to clear my thoughts a little.  I think I get stressed so easily and I want so much for myself. I think teenagers worry about feeling ordinary and insignificant but I think I've came to the conclusion that in the grand scale we're pretty insignificant but we can make the biggest impact on one person's life and it's great.  For now, that's what I think anyway.  I think personal project is a waste of my time because of my topic and I think I don't know what I'm going to do next year.  I think growing up and all that is disgusting because I'm afraid growing up means growing apart.  I wonder if anything I'm doing right now matters because I really don't think it does.  I wonder if being Catholic is worth the time, effort, and feeling of judgement.  I wonder if the friends I've made this year find me as lovely as I find them.  Well I honestly don't care too much if they do because they're lovely regardless.  I wonder if they'll try to stay in touch. I wonder how people can lie to people.  I think girl code is flexible but serious.  I think blogs are pretty cool because they're like journals and you can write whatever you want freely but there's the fear and hope someone will read it.  I think of death and I think everyone does.  I think it'd be okay if I died rather than someone I cared about because if I died I wouldn't have to live without them which is pretty cliche and selfish and I think I'm so selfish. Not self absorbed but just selfish and I don't want to be.  I want to do good. I want a life like FRIENDS and I want to know everything but if someone gave me the opportunity I wouldn't take it. I wish I could dance or draw or be creative.  I'm thinking about how Emma almost fell today during practical writing and how the librarian got mad and it was so funny at the moment. Now I'm thinking about the coin Katya gave me.  I think the library is the most wonderful place at summit.  I think it's weird to have a favorite color and I should really stop trying to force myself to find one.  I think if you tell a teenager to think, they can go on and on about anything and everything because truthfully teenagers haven't given up yet, and I think everything I've said was pointless but also meaningful and I really don't know anything and I realize there are a lot of thoughts I'm afraid to admit or share because thoughts are the only things that can just be mine and no one else's and that's pretty cool.  I don't know when to end this and I don't want to because it kind of makes my thoughts clearer but it also makes it look messier. I think there's so much more and I think this will never end if I don't end it right now.  This skirt was way too long but I don't want to hem any of it for some reason, even though it took an extremely short time to sew up